Friday, November 10, 2006

Life

Life is such an odd thing. My daughter was born a week ago yesterday and this morning at 6:30 I got the phone call that my grandmother had passed away. As one life begins another ends.

I didn't expect to be so sad. I don't mean to sound cold hearted, I loved her very much. But, it is as though we lost her a long time ago because she had Alzheimer's and has been in terrible shape for several years. I don't remember the last time I had a normal conversation with her, I think it must have been at least 8 years ago. The times I have been around her the last few years she would talk to you but so soft that you could barely hear her and she didn't really make any sense. My mom and aunt have taken care of her since Bop died almost 2 years ago. They say that she had moments that they thought she knew what was going on, like when she would cry for Bop and talk about his death. I have had numerous calls over the past few years that they thought she was about to die. She always pulled through and we all thought that she would out live us all and she would just walk right into the new system. She was such a strong person and life is going to be very strange without her.

7 comments:

jewlover2 said...

Heather, my love:

I am so sorry about your grandmother. I will be there Saturday. I hope to see you other than just the funeral, but if not I will at least see you then.

Jehovah remembers.

Love,
Ashley

Anonymous said...

Hey Heddo,
That's how I feel about it too. I thought that it would be a little easier to deal with than Bop just because we've known she's been sick for so long. But I miss her too. I keep thinking back to all the times us cousins would get in trouble and she would be the one to calm down Bop so that he wouldn't give us spankins. Or all the little snacks that she would make us when we were over at her house. She used to tell us if we'd go out to the back yard and pick blackberries then she'd make the cobbler. She was always really patient with us. And she always tried giving us money when we came over. Even when her mind started going, she would give us handfuls of change and try to not let Bop find out. Funny. I really don't think he would have minded. Oh well. Anyways, I don't know if you've ever heard this poem that Mamaw wrote after her brother died, but I thought I'd post it on here.

One year ago today
My dear brother passed away
No he hasn't gone to stay
He will return on resurrection day

He would not want us to weep
But our love and integrity to keep
And to our God be true and
Never for him be blue

May we all meet again someday
And as this my prayer I'll say
May we all be together resurrection day

Jehovah may you guide our way
And from you help us to never stray
And please remember our loved ones
on resurrection day

September 24,1983 ---- Lucy

Anonymous said...

I was going through my purse looking for some gum, right after my poor mom called crying her little heart out and I found one of those dried Ginkgo leaves from Gram's tree instead. I guess it somehow got in there when we were over Friday morning. :(

Anonymous said...

Dear Heather,
I am so sorry to hear about your grandma. I feel like I havn't been able to be there for you like I should. Please, please, please let me know if you need anything or just want to hang out. Your grandmother was a very sweet lady & I am glad I had a chance to know her. I think you & I have alot in common, including our grandmothers. I love you very much. Love, Rhe

jewlover2 said...

Awwww, tears. So beautiful.

I have such fond memories of that back yard! Remember by family lived there when I was in sixth grade for about a year. It is one of the best places we ever lived (though we were dirt poor). I remember playing in that back yard using all kinds of settings and pretendings. I also remember sitting in the kitchen watching her make jam and being so fascinated. She had her gorgeous flower garden in front and me, Toby, and the kids from the neighborhood would play in it, completely heedless of all their hard work. They were so nice, never complained. I hate myself for it now that I understand the pride one can take in their growing things.

Can't wait to see you guys.

Heather said...

You are all so sweet.

Ashley, I don't at all remember you living there when we were kids. Were we friends? My first memories of you are when you moved back from Texas when we were about 12 or 13.

That flower garden got us kids into a lot of trouble many times. I remember one time we decided we would be really sweet and make granny a bouquet out of all the flowers in her garden. We picked them all and proudly gave them to her and got into tons of trouble. We had lots of fun in that huge yard. Playing hide and seek, Simon Says, and Red Light Green Light. I have a scar across the bridge of my nose from when Daniel and I were sitting on the front porch, Daniel was holding a small red shovel and he swung it back for some reason and hit me right across the nose. I'll never forget shelling butter beans and the HUGE family dinners that Granny would cook and the really long prayers Bop would say over the dinner that we were so anxiously awaiting. We loved to play dress up with Granny's jewelery and we broke most of it, going through it a few months back, it was all still there, even what we broke. I remember especially these lavender glass beads that she had that were very fragile. They reminded me of Jezebel when I was a kid and I loved playing with those in particular. Several of the beads were crushed but she still had them.

It is so sad. It feels like an era has ended. Something so familiar is gone. Even though she has been gone for a while because of the disease she is now gone until the new system.

Mom and Dianne did a great job caring for her the past few years. I don't know how they did it. I couldn't have. I helped mom one of the last times I was down get her changed. It was terrible. She put up such a fight. And was yelling for someone to call the police. Just because we were changing her out of her terribly soiled clothes. They were very strong to have dealt with that on a daily basis.

jewlover2 said...

Heather,

In response to your comment, we moved from Texas when i was eight. We lived off of Whitten Road first, then we moved to your granny's house so I went to sixth grade while lving there. We moved to that crappy duplex off of Goldbrier right before I started 7th grade and that was when we started being friends, at Kingsbury. Kind of confusing, I know. What's really wierd is that even though I remember playing in that garden all the time, I don't remember you or Brooke or Tina ever being there and playing at the same time?? Isnt' that strange?

You're right, your mom and Dianne were very strong to deal w/ caring for Lucille during those difficult times. My mom had to care for my grandmother when she started going downhill due to cancer for a few years. It was so hard on her but she never complained and now she helps Haleen get ready for meetings and walk around (though Halleen is still pretty sharp and wil be HANGED before she'd admit she needs help). I think Jehovah gives you added strength when you are faced with that type of responsibility and am confident that we will be just as capable if we are every cnfronted with it.

Loved seeing you Sat. I hope the next time we're in town together we can spend a whole day together!

Love ya,
Me